There's a moment near the beginning of the film just after (*spoiler alert*) Nemo has been caught by divers when Marlin, his Dad, comes to the surface of the water desperately looking and calling for his son. But of course, he's a fish, so he can only exist above the water for a very limited amount of time.
So he has to plunge back into the water to take a life-prolonging "breath" (no, I don't understand how fish work and it seemed like too much hassle to look it up) before he can come up again and look and call some more.
Right now I relate to Marlin! I gave birth to a ridiculously wonderful little boy 16 days ago. And since then (highlights including the expected sleep deprivation, 2 unexpected bouts of mastitis, re-learning how to breastfeed, and Little Miss getting a sickness virus), it's felt a lot like I've been frantically swimming around on the surface existing on the last "breath" I managed to take in some time before Baby arrived.
And this morning as Baby sleeps on me and Little Miss eats her breakfast I am realising that I need to follow Marlin's example if I'm going to be able to continue on my own adventure.
I need to plunge into the depths and breathe deep the life-giving water I find there. Not the depths of the ocean, but the depths of the One who created it.
As the song says: "there I [will] find you in the mystery; in oceans deep my faith will stand."*
There have been times in my life when maintaining my spirituality has felt like another task for the to do list, one more thing that needs to be gotten out of the way so I can continue on with the rest of life without feeling guilty.
And then there are times like now. When it is so undeniably clear to me that life can only be found and sustained when I plunge headfirst into the living water that is provided for me in abundance - and breathe deep. That's the only way I'm going to get through this day, tomorrow, and whatever may be around the corner (and I'm hoping that writing it down here will help me next time I forget...)
So if you need me, I'll be over here, taking some time to breathe like a fish.
*Oceans, by Hillsong
